Humility. Grace. Acceptance.

I am praying for an abundance of these three – and leaning on the Lord to see me through.  Excitement and adventure came hand-in-hand with humility and acceptance.  The getting to Connecticut was certainly pleasant and enjoyable – road tripping with my best friend and the most wonderful man and road warrior!  Amazing, though, how your body needs a few days more to recover as it ages.  The scenic route, awesome Catholic talks on CD, great music breaks, filled with pockets of prayer and musings as we ventured cross-country – priceless!  I’m in a new country, a different world up here – but oh, how gorgeous!  Even with the rain the past three days, I am not tiring of this vivaciously green and vibrant world of His creative wonders!

Humility knocks on my soul’s door, reminding me of how very much I need to grow closer to Christ.  The month-to-month place Bennie worked so diligently in finding is a vehicle of humility with the final stop being death to self and life in Christ through complete and total trust in His plan over and against any of my own.  I have been praying and discussing, coming to hope more and more for a visit with Bennie to his beloved Africa project.  Yet, in arriving and beholding this month-to-month living situation, I bemoan myself for not having a stouter heart.  How much we take for granted in this fortunate land of ours!  And think I do, comparing the price we paid in Texas – the same, granted, as the month-to-month expense here – for the benefit reaped from that money.  One man’s roomy and comfortable palace is another man’s tiny and meager abode, and vice versa. 

Perspective – thank the good Lord for the people through which His Holy Spirit speaks sense, gratitude, and faith back into our  fleeting hearts.  Such a person was my mother.  Thank you, dear mother, for your breathtakingly wise perspective!  A chance to rejoice in and praise the Lord, grateful for a roof (though sunken and stained) over our heads and carpet (though bug-littered and dirty) under our feet, walls (though grease-stained and peeling) surrounding us in shelter and a space (though shared in a St. Francis spirit with spiders and ants) to dub our temporary home!  We are delighting in our glorified camping! 

Acceptance of His will for the glory of His Kingdom is tantamount to safeguarding faith, knowing within my heart that suffering is the fire in which our souls are refined to shine His love out into this dark world, and humbly choosing whatever suffering with which I am blest to carry.  Plus, it could be so much worse!  How quickly I, Job-like, begin to store up a list of grievances and voice them to God, who loving hearkens my words and reassures my wavering heart that, indeed, it is not so bad.  I cannot say I have it bad at all – not when I have shelter, electricity, running water, and a bed upon which to rest.   Thanks to Bennie’s awesome packing skills, we even have a mug to share – and sharing rekindles our love as we put the other first and deny our own turn/comforts.  I praise you, Lord, for all is gifted from you, Benevolent Giver and Lover of all souls!! 

A quote I’m pondering, praying that the words will saturate my heart and redefine my meaning of existence – so I might exist solely for Christ and HIS WILL, glorifying Him through the submission of myself entirely into His loving, providential hands:

 

“Sacrifice is the most natural act of man, the very essence of his life.  Man is a sacrifial being, because he finds himself in love, and love is sacrificial:  it puts the value, the very meaning of life in the other and gives life to the other, and in this giving, in this sacrifice, finds the meaning and joy of life.”  ~Alexander Schmemann

What a blessing that we are created for sacrifice so as to discover His abundance of life, His joy, His sweetest peace! J And what a blessing to be in 70 degree weather over the summer!  Sure don't miss those 105 days we left a week ago!  God bless and keep you!  ~Elizabeth Anne & Bennie :D